Book Report on Absolute Surrender > 제자학교

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On Absolute Surrender

The first line that impressed upon me was near the beginning of the first chapter: “I am willing that I should be made willing”. God is not waiting for me to perfect surrender on my own strength and then, through that surrender, give myself to Him. God knows I need His strength to surrender. What I am surrendering, then, is not the actual life. I am surrendering my rejection of him. I am surrendering my attempts to surrender, ironically, without God’s help. God, I will no longer try to give my life to you on my own strength. I ask that you help me to be a surrendered person. God is the one that powers, sustains, and accepts my surrender. 

This made me realize that I kept surrender in a special category in my spiritual life. I do not believe that I can life a sinless life without God’s power. Or a life of learning of God, or worship- in fact, I believe I can’t do anything without God. Yet in this area of surrender, often I believe that I need to fight and do this by myself in order that God will be involved in my life. God cannot help me surrender- I must surrender so God can help me! But this, I see, is not true. God, I am willing. God, I believer! Help me with my unbelief. 

Towards the end of the book, there is a sermon on the vine and the branches. The second line that impressed upon me is this: “Are you fit for nothing?”. And at first, I answered that question with yes, there are many things I am fit for! Worship, serving, making money… But then I realized that is the problem. The goal of my life isn’t to be good at everything. It is to be good at what God has called me to be good at. My prideful self wants to be good at everything. It finds meaning, and consider myself important and significant and meaningful because I am good at so many things. But I only need to be good at one thing. To abide in the vine. To be good at that, to be a good vine at the feet of Jesus, is the only thing I need to be good at.  P. David Kim